‘Walk a day in their shoes’ is common advice when seeking to understand a relationship or fix a broken dynamic. While this wasn’t the notion that drove me to want to serve on a board, it was an unexpected benefit. Prior to joining a board, I’d spent a decade plus in the executive director chair for various organizations, all the while building up ideas about what board members should do or say. Taking the board seat and eventually serving as a chairperson was eye-opening. The experience has been a differentiator for my business and has influenced how I behave and respond to situations and my colleagues.
These are my pet peeves and perceptions about boards and executive directors. They’re not necessarily universal, although I have a hunch most nonprofit leaders will identify with most of them.
The Executive Director Perspective: Five insights for board members
Stop cc’ing me on every email to the team.
I get ten billion emails a day. Ok, not that many, but close. Yes, I want to be kept in the loop, but updating your address in the board contact sheet or asking what time the next meeting is is not an item that requires multiple team members to be engaged.
Don’t wait for the board meeting to ask questions.
I enjoy a little adrenaline rush now and then, but being put on the spot regarding page 12, line 13 of our financials in front of the entire board is overkill. Please set me up for success and help me respond more confidently by asking questions before the board meeting. Don’t forget that a consent agenda is meant to expedite meeting flow, so questions about items in that section should especially be sent ahead of the meeting.
Devil’s Advocate is not an officer position. Drop the divisiveness.
There are no points for poking holes. I understand you’re cautious, but running through every worst-case scenario is killing our board culture. Please attempt to trust my judgment and leadership until I give you a reason not to.
Committee meetings should be more than inquisitions.
Let me get this straight… I’ll write an Executive Director Report for the board, meet with the executive board and report to them all that is happening, and then do the same at the board meeting, but I’ll give topical reports for each committee in between the board meetings? Deep sigh. Committees can and should provide support for the team. Sure, they can help guide the work, but they should also help do the work. As chairs of committees, board members have the most power to influence this culture shift.
Remember, the board has collective power.
I have deep respect for each member of the board of directors, but I also recognize that the board’s power is collective—meaning united, not independent. Please don’t put me in a situation where I’m responding to a singular demand or request from one board member. Bring board matters to the boardroom and decide on them as a team.
The Board Member Perspective: Five insights for executive directors
Realize I have a career and other commitments outside this organization.
This organization is a priority for me, but it is not my only priority. Between family, work, and other commitments, please trust that I’m doing and giving what is possible. Efficiencies, like combined or stacked meetings, Zoom meetings, and clear/concise communications that let me know exactly what is needed and expected, are greatly appreciated.
Don’t assume my network is an asset of the organization.
I love talking about our cause, but not to all my friends. My relationships are personal, and many have other business ties that make requests on behalf of our cause challenging. It’s okay to ask me if I’m comfortable reaching out to someone, but if I’m not comfortable, please don’t assume it’s because I don’t want to support our mission.
Let me serve in the ways I’ll be passionate about.
Golf is not my game. It never will be. Sure, I can show up if participation is mandatory, but my discomfort may be a drag on the atmosphere. Not to mention if it’s not a scramble, I may cause delays (I blame those sandboxes they put all over the course!). There are other events and campaigns that I love and will be able to serve with joy. Show me all the options for serving and let me pick what will be a win-win.
Communicate with the whole board.
I am happy to hear you out and help provide guidance. When the matter at hand is something the board will have to decide on, I encourage you to talk to the whole board. We need to work collectively and siloed communication can cause distrust.
Provide recommendations, not dilemmas.
When the organization is facing a tough situation, no one will understand the ins and outs more than you. We hired you with full confidence that you could navigate the complexities and challenges that are sure to come our way. When faced with trouble, we want to hear your recommendations. Even if you’re not 100% sure it’s the right next move, it will give us someplace to start.
Closing Tips and Thoughts
I hope these lists made you chuckle and perhaps think, “Me too!” But the thing is…these are hard conversations to have and awkward dynamics to fix. I encourage you to share this blog with your board or executive director, depending on your perspective, as an icebreaker.
Some dynamics run deeper than being cc’d on too many emails or being over-asked for support. In those instances, I encourage you to bring a third-party perspective to right the ship. Telling someone your preference or asking them to change what they’ve always done can cause animosity – especially in a reporting situation such as an executive director and board member. A third party with experience in the same field can rely on best practices and comparative situations to point to better behaviors. Strategic planning, governance resets or training, and ED coaching are all ways our team helps address executive and board dynamics that have gone off course.
